A year ago today, I had to be really, really brave. My husband and I had completed our very first EP for our band, The Great Beholding, and it was time to share the music we created with the world. Sharing my songs with people, let alone singing them in front of my husband, is absolutely terrifying to me. My music is such a humongous part of who I am, no, THE biggest part of who I am and it’s a very uncomfortable thing for me to be open and vulnerable with it, period! I’ve always dealt with insecurities and have never been a confident person, but it’s especially with my music and singing that I struggle the most. It’s funny/ironic how passionate you can be about something, knowing it’s what you were called to do, and still struggle so much to pursue it boldly, without restraint. But over the years, God has shown me and is continuing to show me more and more, that I can fully trust Him and the calling He has entrusted to me, allowing me to be more bold, raw and real with people.

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About 2 years ago, my husband and I knew that it was time to pursue music together. We didn’t really know exactly what that looked like, who it involved or  how we would make it work, but we just knew we had to do it. Thankfully, God has filled our lives with friends who are the most phenomenal musicians and engineers! They graciously came right alongside of us to help write the music for and to record our first project. I do not play an instrument (Someday, I will play the piano!), read music, or know much at all about theory, unfortunately. When I write, the song in its entirety (music, melodies, tempo, etc.) is in my head and the only way I am able to communicate how it sounds to anyone, is by singing it. So basically, I am one big pain in the rear for anyone that writes with me! But it always completely amazes me how our friends are able to work with the little that I give them and create beautiful music to accompany the songs. So much time, love, talent and energy was poured into this 3 track project and I am so grateful to everyone that helped us make it happen. I would also like to give a huge shout out to my beautiful friend, Kimmy Alsheimer, the owner and founder of Drift Design Co. Kimmy designed our logos and album art and gave us exactly what we wanted. She does the most amazing work and you should most definitely have her design something for you too! 

In honor of our one year anniversary, I wanted to share our 3 track EP on the blog today, for anyone that didn’t get the chance to hear it when it was first released last year. It’s nothing spectacular, the songs aren’t exactly where I would like them to be yet, and we are a continual work in progress, but I am still so proud of this music and am so thankful we had the opportunity to record it. Our EP is available on  iTunes, Spotify and Bandcamp if you’re interested in purchasing it and supporting our band. Our desire is to bring glory to Jesus and to proclaim His goodness through our music. Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to write, prepare and pursue this aspect of ministry together. 

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This past year has been one of the darkest, most heartbreaking and scariest seasons of my life. It’s felt suffocating and overwhelmingly exhausting at times. But I give glory to God that I can truly say, in spite of crippling circumstances, my husband and I are learning  beautiful lessons about the grace, mercy and sovereignty of God,  in ways that we never have before. It’s been very easy for me to lose heart, depriving my soul of the joy, hope and peace that Christ gives, but I have seen and tasted of His goodness in the midst of hardship and am so thankful and awed by Him for that.

 At the end of last year, I was in a really dark place, questioning anything and everything about myself, but also putting a lot into question about what I knew (or thought I knew) about God. It felt like a constant tug of war, fighting against my doubts, trying to remain confident in not only the character of God, but His genuine heart and affections towards me as His child. During this season, I was searching the scriptures, desperately digging for some sort of solution or answer that resonated with what I was going through and how I was handling it. Years ago, the Lord laid John 15 on my heart to meditate on and memorize, so I began intently reading it and became deeply connected to its message. Each time I am brought back to these verses, they always take on a new and deeper meaning for me. This time in particular, I began reading through them over and over, doing my best to cling tightly to their truth and the Lord immediately gave me inspiration for a song.

For as long as I can remember, God has used music specifically to speak to me and gave me the passion for worship and songwriting at a very young age. I’ve written a numerous amount of songs, but the songs that I feel deeply connected to and that God has used most in my life,  are the ones that have been written in the dark and devastating seasons that I’ve faced. The song that came from John 15 is one of those timely, life-giving ones for me. God is so good and so gracious, that when I am at my weakest and my heart is the most fragile, he stoops to meet me and plants inspiration. After finishing this song,  I shared it with my husband and we began the process of adding some sort of music to it. My husband and I recently started a band together called The Great Beholding and are slowly but surely preparing for pursuing this aspect of ministry together. Once we finished the writing process, I knew that it was something I needed to share. I know that this song is simple and nothing mind blowing, but  I think that the simplistic, profound words of Jesus in this passage are easily forgotten and we all need to be reminded of them.  

Jesus lays out in a nutshell how we are to live our lives and what gives them purpose. When we are in Christ and abiding in His fullness, we are lacking nothing and are overflowing with joy. Submitting our lives to Christ’s call and remaining faithful to Him, brings a satisfaction like nothing else and it gives us the ability to be fruitful and pleasing in His sight. So many times I have fallen short and missed out experiencing His goodness in this way, by taking my own path and losing sight of this truth. It is so applicable and convicting to me on a regular basis and that is why I wanted to share my song on the blog today and be transparent with you all. Praise God that His grace is sufficient and that even in our weaknesses and brokenness, He is mighty to save us from our mess and bring us back to where we belong in Him. I pray that this little tune is an encouragement and comfort to the body of Christ and that it draws you closer and takes you deeper in your walk with Him.  

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete…” John 15: 1-11

If you’d like to keep up with all of our musical endeavors, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram @thegreatbeholding!